Another day before Christmas. I am starting to genuinely get sick of CS2, just because I am dying when I really feel like I shouldn't. So many situations where I should just be able to aim at the enemy and shoot, control my spray, and kill him in less than a few bullets. But no, I just somehow panic, even still. Sometimes I don't panic though which is the strange thing. I think if I anticipate an enemies movement, I panic. But maybe if I just react instead then I might not? Sometimes when I enter a game, I realise how frustrated I get, so I intentionally just care less and somehow I end up hitting more shots than I usually would. Even though before I get frustrated I'm genuinely not clenching my mouse or putting on a super serious face. I just put on a "this is important so lets perform to my abilities" face. I'm not leaning into my screen like I wanna kiss the damn enemies, I'm not leaning so far forward that I could get scoliosis, I'm just sat upright, arms comfortable, alert and ready to play. But no, even that I just seem to somehow die to stupid shit. Then I tell myself "why didn't I just control my spray like I did in every single warmup session?". Then I try to brush it off, but after it happens for like the 7th time I just say "fuck this" and sit back and just attempt to get through the match. Then I might get a few kills somehow, then I'll start dying to me being not as invested in the game. I'm sorry but even some kills that I get I think "that was sloppy". Some spraydowns I perform are genuinely like "why did I just empty 15 rounds into a spray when I could've just controlled it in 2-3 bullets". I really am confused as to what I do wrong. I can gain great momentum and do well, but then if it is knocked then I feel useless again.