Yesterday, I had my last driving lesson before my test. I keep trying to tell myself that it’s just a test and that there’s no real or impacting consequence for failing it. Obviously, it will be nice if I pass it first try, I wouldn’t have to pay for additional lessons and I would just have it sooner. But other than that, there is no other consequences. I can retake my test as many times as I need, I’m not losing anything else really. I framed the test as a super high stakes event, but in reality it isn’t. I’m still going to be nervous for it, because I would like to be able to have it. But even then, having one won’t change things much. I’ll still have my house, my girlfriend, my job, my hobbies, everything will be the same. And even if I do drive, that in itself will be very expensive. So, in a way it balances itself out. It would be convenient and I could drive places I couldn’t normally go, but I’d also be financially strained.
I understand the purpose of a test. It’s essentially a formality, a controlled environment where you are given what is observed. However, I think it is flawed. Any type of exam that you need to “study” for before hand is ultimately flawed as it does not factor in nerves or unlucky situations. In an ideal world, your instructor would be the one to approve your driving license. They are the person who has seen you progress and develop your skills and abilities better than anyone else. Same goes for teachers in school, those at the exam board don’t know how well you did in lessons. This way, you wouldn’t have the stress and anxiety of cramming years worth of knowledge into a single 45 minute session. But, as I’ve said, I know why this is the way it is. It eliminates biases and it allows for a formal record of the exam. But still, I don’t see why an instructor can’t be vetted to be unbiased and formally record each lessons progress, mistakes and evaluations.
Anyway, enough of that. Last night proved to be a mixed bag. I was motivated to do the website, but the scale of everything was weighing me down. I introduced the legacy games last night which includes about 17 games from my GameMaker 8 era, as well as over 25 games from the ClickTeam era. For every single one of these games, I need to get screenshots, write about it, provide a download link and figure out when it was made / released. That was a bit daunting. I’m no where near finished with that section. Also, another thing that I wanted to add was all of my CS:GO maps that I made. This was even more daunting as I guarantee I have over 100 different maps that I need to document.
This is going to take me a LOT of time. For each map I need to provide a download link for the map (and possibly the .vmf file), provide screenshots, write about it and include the date of creation… over 100 times. For one map, it wouldn’t take that long. All of that I could get done in about 15 minutes maybe. But multiply that by 100 (and possibly more) that’s 25 hours of non-stop work. Even if I worked non-stop every day after work (from 5 PM to 12 AM) that’s three and a half entire evenings with no breaks. It will take time, but I hope I don’t give up. It will be worth it for the reason this website even exists, to document myself. If I ever lose my computer or lose anything, I’ll have this website. If the WayBack Machine goes out of business, I’ll have my website. All hosted on Google Sites which I seriously doubt Google will go out of business, so I have faith that this website will stand the test of time.